On Saturday I had the pleasure of paying for overpriced shit stodge. It pains me to pay for bad stodge. It stings me where I’m cheap. It’s like, if I wanted soggy chips I would have eaten a Burger King in the rain.
The place in question was Miller and Carter Bournemouth. It’s one of those chains that tries to dress itself up as fancy but it’s still a chain and can’t get fries right.
So I went there with five friends. This place is primarily a steak place but they have other token menu options such as fish and chips. Which I got. Which was a mistake. I should have got the steak but I made a mistake. I’m the idiot who ordered one of the token menu choices. My food was best described as bland goo.
I was indeed informed that the steak was not a mistake. I was informed that it was quite nice. However, if you’re going to bother to put token menu choices on the menu that alternative people like me will choose, at least make them dece. Edible at least.
So anyway onto the food itself. I’ll get straight to the point. The batter was pale and soggy. There was not a crisp thing on the plate. The chips were wet and cold. Upon cutting the batter I was faced with some white goo (think jizz). When I dug deeper I found more gooey low quality fish. My plate looked like I had popped the worlds biggest ass zit and served it on some fries that had joined me for my morning shower.
I didn’t eat most of it. So in place I decided to order 2 desserts. This is where judgement day began. The judge being the waitress. I was starving. My body needed food and the waitress didn’t understand.
I ordered the sticky toffee pudding and the banoffee pie. The desserts were good. The waitress made comments that I am fat and tried to belittle me. Three times she came back. It made me so uncomfortable that I even bothered to write a complaint to the place. I know I’m fat, I just don’t need to be told it while I’m paying for shit food.
I regret having to pay. I nearly cried as I had to type in my pin to pay for stodge and sass.
Like honestly, I could have bought 8 large filet o fish meals without a soggy chip or gooey batter in sight. Not going there again.