A road trip to Guildford

…to go to Little Chef.

In our never ending pursuit for the perfect balance between quality and quantity stodge we ended up deciding that the closest Little Chef that we could find to London was worthy of a visit. We bestowed our ravenous bodies upon Little Chef on Saturday afternoon… for breakfast.

So the place itself is in what is essentially a shitty little lay-by with a BP on the road to Guildford. The inside is charming enough and it has booths which is always good because that doesn’t mean I have to balance my butt on two chairs, one for each cheek. The booth factor was greatly appreciated.

I was actually so hungry when I walked through the door that if there was a Chef present that looked little enough and reasonably tasty I would have absorbed his nutrients into my body.

They had a dece choice of breakfasts on the menu. Most of the breakfasts come with a variety of tantalising carbs cooked in a variety of ways. The carbs that really tickled my fancy were the fried bread and the fried potatoes. Loving the plethora of stodge on offer.

So when it came to ordering I went for the vegetarian Olympic breakfast with extra eggs, fried and scrambled and extra sausage. I was meant to go for extra hash browns but I forgot. The waiter didn’t judge me for the sheer quantity I ordered. Or at least he didn’t show it. I think he was laughing with me and not at me. I don’t care anyway. The food healed the pain of any judgement I felt in that moment.

My partner in crime ordered The Early Starter even though it was 2pm. It had hash browns, fried bread, sausages, bacon and well done eggs. Well done mate good for you.

There is more eggs, sausages and potatoes hidden under my bread. I guess I did feel a hint of shame about all the extras

When our food arrived I inhaled my entire plate in about 15 mins. I ate all of it and it was delicious. It tasted savoury and I was like get in ma belleh.

Do you want a more detailed analysis of the flavour combinations and textures that we experienced? Ok sure here we go.

  • Egg
  • Fried potato dipped in egg yellow (mmm)
  • Vegetarian sausage dipped in baked beans (ooo saucy)
  • Pork sausage that made a nice pop

After devouring my plate (and looking like Saturn Devouring His Son by Goya while doing it) I needed dessert. Please realise that I ate enough for three people easy and I’m a greedy fat bitch so normal people would not be thinking about dessert at this point.

Hot chocolate complete with marshmallow on the table to emphasise how savage we are


We got hot chocolates for dessert. We approve of the breakfasts and the hot chocolates.

Also worth noting that the toilets were not that bad. I didn’t find any shit on the seats or in the sink. I’ve seen some horrific things in toilets so I am a bit of a bog connoisseur. Only some light skid marks in two of the cubicles. Toilets were 5/10.

On the road trip back we concluded that we would be returning to Little Chef at some point in the future. They have their stodge game on fleek.

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